And Jonathan Harris Would Be 99 (If He Weren't Bleedin' Demised)
My favorite childhood villain, Dr. Zachary Smith of Lost in Space. Some of you youngsters may know him as the voice of The Cleaner in Toy Story 2. All of us should know him for his catchphrase: "Oh, the pain, the pain."
Named for Katie-Bar-The-Door, the Katies are "alternate Oscars"—who should have been nominated, who should have won—but really they're just an excuse to write a history of the movies from the Silent Era to the present day.
To see a list of nominees and winners by decade, as well as links to my essays about them, click the highlighted links:
Look at me—Joe College, with a touch of arthritis. Are my eyes really brown? Uh, no, they're green. Would we have the nerve to dive into the icy water and save a person from drowning? That's a key question. I, of course, can't swim, so I never have to face it. Say, haven't you anything better to do than to keep popping in here early every morning and asking a lot of fool questions?