2008 Alternate Oscars

My choices are noted with a ★. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best animated feature winners are noted with an @.

In retrospect, the failure to nominate The Dark Knight for best picture helped open what is now a yawning chasm between the Academy and the ticket-buying public, where every year the top prize goes to some grim little art film nobody has seen and then the powers-that-be scratch their collective heads and wonder why no one watches the Oscars anymore.

Sometimes the answer is so obvious you only have to look in the mirror to find it.

2007 Alternate Oscars

My choices are noted with a ★. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best animated feature winners are noted with an @.

2006 Alternate Oscars

My choices are noted with a ★. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best foreign-language picture winners are noted with an ƒ.

2005 Alternate Oscars

My choices are noted with a ★. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best animated feature winners are noted with an @.

Crash, which I have not nominated in any category, was (in my opinion) one of the worst best picture winners of all-time, an unworthy choice in any year. Never mind that it beat far superior nominees in Brokeback Mountain and Good Night, and Good Luck, as well as unnominated gems such as Batman Begins, A History of Violence and Match Point, Crash is completely unbelievable (and not in a good way, ala Georges Méliès) and a narrative mess to boot. Yet despite its shortcomings, it seems to think it's brilliant and never let's you forget it — the cherry on top of a smug pile of cinematic manure. And God knows I hate cherries!

But you know, if you like it, that's okay with me. And if you really, really feel the need to cast a vote for it, why, you can just toddle on over to this site (click here) and cast away!