The Willow Manor Ball: Aftermath

While Katie-Bar-The-Door and I have returned to our normal routine ...

... the rest of our group is still recovering from a wild time at Tess Kincaid's justly famous Willow Manor Ball.

To wit:

Nikki Nicholson drank Captain Patrick Hendry under the table and the two woke up married after a brief ceremony in the hold of a cargo plane. Despite the whirlwind nature of the courtship, it appeared to be a match made in heaven—Nikki thinks Hendry's legs are "pretty" while Hendry has a thing for girls in fur pants.

They're currently honeymooning at a scientific outpost north of the Arctic Circle.

Meanwhile, a desperately hungry Ned Scott has become obsessed with wild blueberry muffins and continues to radio anyone who'll listen, asking for the recipe. "Keep watching the skies," he pleads, "also food blogs and the Cooking Channel—maybe Rachel Ray or the Cake Boss! Somebody's gotta know!"

And the self-styled "Disco Inferno," James Arness, is still smoking hot after his fiery entrance yesterday.

"Satisfaction, ooo hoo hoo hoo," he said later in an interview on CNN, "came in the chain reaction. I couldn't get enough so I had to self destruct, ooo hoo hoo hoo. The heat was on, rising to the top, huh! Everybody's goin' strong, ooo hoo hoo hoo, and that is when my spark got hot! I heard somebody say, 'Burn baby burn!—Disco inferno!'"

No word yet on whether his insurance company will cover the damages ...