Tuesday, June 3, 2014

What The Brady Bunch Meant To Me

The recent death of Ann B. Davis, who played the housekeeper Alice on The Brady Bunch, has inspired a spate of what "she meant to me" posts and articles. Well, she was a human being and she did something that a lot of people liked, so why not. It's okay with me.

As the show's target audience when it premiered on ABC television in 1969—that is to say, an eight year old kid—I did watch The Brady Bunch, but it really was a bad show and it never captured my imagination the way that, say, Rocky and Bullwinkle or Jonny Quest did. The actors were devoid of edge, the jokes were Hallmark greeting card safe, and the plots—my God, the plots—well, that's the point of this short post.


The Brady Bunch
was when I finally realized that stories weren't something that organically "happened" as a result of the collision of a person's innate character traits with changing needs and circumstances, but were instead a series of artificial hoops that actors reading lines jumped through. At least, on bad television.

I remember thinking when Greg developed a crush on his teacher in early 1970, "wait a minute, didn't Opie fall in love with his teacher on The Andy Griffith Show?" At least in that case, Opie's teacher also happened to be his father's girlfriend—talk about your Freudian can of worms! But what a coincidence. Or was it?

It wasn't the first time The Brady Bunch would recycle a sit-com plot, nor the last, and I soon realized that most shows recycled plots and that most of the time, you could predict with some certainty what was going to happen on practically every show on television.

And it finally occurred to me that stories don't happen, they are told, and somebody—why not me?!—has to tell them.

But you can only have a particular epiphany once and The Brady Bunch was mine.


That by the spring of 1972 I had decided to become a writer, and that I recycled plots for my own amusement, is probably a coincidence. But maybe not. Every moment, no matter how small, is part of a chain that leads to the present. Who can say which of those moments is the vital link? Not me.

So, Brady Bunch, for making your crapitude transparent to at least one future writer, we here at the Monkey salute you!

5 comments:

  1. My favorite inexplicable but obligatory sitcom plot was when the characters acquire a racehorse. It seems to occur in any classic show that runs long enough. And why? Does everyone secretly yearn to own a racehorse? Is there an old vaudeville routine this cliche is based on?

    Did they ever do this on the Brady Bunch? I never watched a single episode, although I watched the Partridge Family, so it isn't that I had too much good taste.

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  2. The Partridge Family was Citizen Kane compared to The Brady Bunch. Danny Partridge and Reuben Kinkaid insulting each other, David Cassidy always getting the short end of the stick, and the episode where Shirley Jones wears hot pants -- classic stuff.

    I don't think the Bradys ever bought a race horse, but they did have a sculpture of a horse in their living room. I suspect most sit-com writers had serious gambling problems and spent most of their writing sessions wishing they were at Santa Anita. They wound up writing about buying a race horse so they could out a trip to the track on their expense account.

    Either that or they kept plots on 3x5 cards and pulled them out at random. "You want to do 'Greg winds up with two dates for the prom' or 'Marcia breaks her nose before a big date'?" "Neither -- let's go to the track. I got a tip on the fourth race."

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  3. The Partridge Family was Citizen Kane compared to The Brady Bunch. Danny Partridge and Reuben Kinkaid insulting each other, David Cassidy always getting the short end of the stick, and the episode where Shirley Jones wears hot pants -- classic stuff.

    The Partidge Family may have been Citizen Kane compared to Citizen Kane -- look at what you just laid out there.

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  4. I loved the Brady Bunch episode where they bought a horse, but Mike Brady refused to alter his plans for a 70's rancher and an adjacent mini-mall he was building, despite Tom Hagen's pleas. As a result, the horse was cut in half and put in Greg's bed. The only real problem, according to Greg, was that it was the wrong half.

    By the way - the Partridge Family upon further viewing, was actually very funny.

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