Alternate Oscars: 2015

Ted 2 turns out to be my answer to a meme floating around the internet a couple of years ago — name a movie you like released since 2000 that scored less than 50% (i.e., was panned by most critics) on Rotten Tomatoes' Tomatometer.

This turned out to be much tougher than I anticipated, largely because I rarely bother to see movies that have been critically panned. I counted only thirty-nine movies with a "splat" rating that I've even seen — forget liked — and only twelve of those in the theater. What can I tell you? I never go to a movie on its opening weekend, I pay attention to the critical buzz, and I trust my gut when I see the preview. It's like those commercials for Cici's Pizza — if it looks bad when people are being paid to make it look good, it's probably terrible.

Anyway, of those movies, Ted 2 is the only one that almost made my annual top ten. Sure, it stars a foul-mouthed, dope-smoking teddy bear, but it has some clever things to say about what it means to be a human being, and the dangers of treating some of those beings as less human than others. If its brilliant second act hadn't been done in by an utterly inane third, I would have nominated it for best picture. Check it out.

My choices are noted with a ★. A tie is indicated with a ✪. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best foreign-language picture winners are noted with an ƒ. Best animated feature winners are noted with an @. A historical winner who won in a different category is noted with a ✱.