JACK: "Lemon, there is a word, a once-special word that's been tragically co-opted by the Romance-Industrial Complex, and I would hate to use it here and have you think that I'm suggesting any kind of romantic sentiment, let alone an invitation to scale 'Bone Mountain.' It's a word that comes to us by way of the Old High German luba, from the Latin lubere, meaning 'to be pleasing.' So I'm going to use this word to describe how I feel about you in the way that our Anglo-Saxon forefathers would have used it in reference to, say, a hot bowl of bear meat, or your enemy's skull, split—"
LIZ: "I love you, too, Jack."
You were either a fan of 30 Rock or you have no idea what I'm talking about, but here's hoping each of you find that hot bowl of bear meat that makes you happy.
Named for Katie-Bar-The-Door, the Katies are "alternate Oscars"—who should have been nominated, who should have won—but really they're just an excuse to write a history of the movies from the Silent Era to the present day.
To see a list of nominees and winners as well as links to my essays about them, click here.
Remember: There are no wrong answers, only movies you haven't seen yet.
The Silent Oscars
And don't forget to check out the Silent Oscars—my year-by-year choices for best picture, director and all four acting categories for the pre-Oscar years, 1902-1927.
Look at me—Joe College, with a touch of arthritis. Are my eyes really brown? Uh, no, they're green. Would we have the nerve to dive into the icy water and save a person from drowning? That's a key question. I, of course, can't swim, so I never have to face it. Say, haven't you anything better to do than to keep popping in here early every morning and asking a lot of fool questions?