The results are in on the latest Monkey Poll: Douglas Fairbanks is your favorite swashbuckling movie pirate, besting Errol Flynn, 47-29.
Johnny Depp finished a distant third with 18 votes. Burt Lancaster received 7 votes, and Tyrone Power and "Other" received 4 each.
The 109 total votes cast was the most in Monkey Poll history, and Fairbanks's improbable comeback—he trailed Flynn by a wide margin a week ago—prompted immediate cries of monkey business.
"I just want to know how Douglas beat Errol," Thingy of Pondering Life complained. "I have made my protest known on Rotten Apples. Clearly some shenanigans in the works."
Blogger has had serious issues recently, with lost comments, disappearing posts and vanishing followers lists. The pirate poll itself exhibited strange fluctuations throughout the voting period, with 25 votes mysteriously lost at one point.
"Let there be no doubt, while I strongly disagree with the poll results," Flynn himself said early this morning in an interview conducted in my head, "I accept it. And tonight, for the sake of our unity as a people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession. Now I'm going to sit on this beach and boff every willing broad I can lay my hands on, so frak off."
Tyrone Power was less gracious. "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore," he snapped before storming off the podium, "because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference." Though unclear from the context of his remarks, the assumption in the press room was that Power was referring to Cynthia Nixon whose last movie, Sex and the City 2, was a critical and commercial disaster.
As usual, though, it was Douglas Fairbanks with the last word.
"I was rich, handsome, and married to the most desirable woman in the world," he said. "That I was also once adored by millions of movie fans, and am evidently still adored by 47 discerning readers, cannot add to the happiness and satisfaction I already feel. But it doesn't hurt."
Postscript: Don't forget to participate in Monty's on-going Best Actor Tournament over at All Good Things!