The Katie-Bar-The-Door Awards (1981)

I gave the award for best actor in a comedy to both Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory for their work in My Dinner with Andre. I've given collective awards to obvious comedy teams before—the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges, Hope & Crosby, Abbott & Costello, Monty Python—but never to two guys who happened to be in a movie together.

Still, it makes sense to me, if not to you. Aside from a waiter, Shawn and Gregory are the only two guys in the film, and the movie only works if they're both on their game, in this case, one talking and one listening. I mean, you wouldn't give the Grammy for best songwriter to Lennon or McCartney, you'd give it to Lennon and McCartney. (Actually, the senile old goats at the Grammys would give it to Englebert Humperdinck, but that's beside the point.) (You know, somebody ought to do an "alternate Grammys" blog, handing out annual awards for best male/female/group performers, best album and best song. Maybe somebody already does.)

Anyway, my blog, my rules. The point is to say something about the history of movies rather than hand out awards strictly according to Hoyle.

PICTURE (Drama)
winner: Reds (prod. Warren Beatty)

PICTURE (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Raiders of the Lost Ark (prod. Frank Marshall)

PICTURE (Foreign Language)
winner: Das Boot (prod. Günter Rohrbach)

ACTOR (Drama)
winner: Burt Lancaster (Atlantic City)

ACTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory (My Dinner With Andre)

ACTRESS (Drama)
winner: Diane Keaton (Reds)

ACTRESS (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Karen Allen (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

DIRECTOR (Drama)
winner: Wolfgang Petersen (Das Boot)

DIRECTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Steven Spielberg (Raiders Of The Lost Ark)

SUPPORTING ACTOR
winner: Robert Prosky (Thief)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
winner: Maureen Stapleton (Reds)

SCREENPLAY
winner: Lawrence Kasdan, from a story by George Lucas and Philip Kaufman (Raiders of the Lost Ark)