The Barbenheimers

Let's get right to it. The Oscar nominations came out yesterday and I am so steamed that Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie didn't get nominations, you have no idea. I'll probably start an alternate Oscars blog in protest ...

Oh, wait, I already write one.

Look, I can't honestly say I'm surprised the clowns at the Academy failed to nominate Gerwig and Robbie — after all, Alfred Hitchcock never won an Oscar, and Edward G. Robinson was never even nominated! — but nevertheless, the Oscars are fundamentally broken. Come Oscar time, these idiots routinely belittle the tastes of the ticket-buying public then claim to be mystified that no one watches the ceremony. Of course not! Why would we?! If we wanted to watch the Independent Spirit Awards, we'd watch the ... Independent Spirit Awards!

But no matter. I'm starting a new subcategory of the alternate Oscars. We'll call them the Barbenheimers with the nominees limited to the only serious choices I had in my mind when I was making out lists of possible nominees for the 2023 alternate Oscars. I've set it up so you can vote once an hour in perpetuity which is how frequent and durable my Barbie-loving rage is.

Have at it.

And when you're done, I would appreciate it if you would follow the link at the bottom of the page and vote on the 1985 alternate Oscars. Thank you in advance ...

And please, follow this link to vote for the 1985 alternate Oscars!