A Mythical Monkey writes about the movies

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Katie-Bar-The-Door Awards (1975)

I wonder in retrospect why Robert Altman chose to plant so many of his movies in settings he didn't understand or particularly care for—Raymond Carver, Raymond Chandler, Garrison Keillor, high fashion, country music, English society, Popeye cartoons, Korea. Was it sloppiness, arrogance, boredom, or was it a necessary artistic conceit, like Nuke LaLoosh wearing garters on the pitching mound, to keep his focus slightly off-center which is the proper mindset for both an artisan pitcher and a great director? I don't know.

Whatever the case, though, I've got to tell you, Altman knew exactly nothing about Nashville-based country music. (He later admitted as much.) I grew up two doors down from George Jones and Tammy Wynette, three doors down from Bobby Bare (Sr. and Jr.), went to church with Johnny Cash, knew Roy Orbison, and was close friends with William Lee Golden's sons. My brother is a drummer and his friends are some of the best sessions players in Nashville. And as I mentioned to Erik Beck (of the Boston Becks) on his blog recently, with the exception of "I'm Easy," not one of the songs in Nashville would get a second hearing during open mic night at the Blue Bird Cafe.

Now normally I'd say this is only a minor quibble, like complaining that the Casablanca of the movie looks nothing like the Casablanca I once visited. But since the movie is essentially a country & western musical, with an hour's worth of musical performances, Altman's contempt for the form is something of a major flaw.

Not to say Nashville isn't a great movie. I think it has real insight into our national obsession with celebrity, and how we confuse being a fan with being a friend. Perhaps if he had called the movie Las Vegas or Hollywood or Broadway or something else I know but don't know well, I might have chosen it as the best picture of the year. As it is, I'd call it a flawed masterpiece, well worth your time but not as good as it could have been had he taken a minimal amount of care.

PICTURE (Drama)
winner: Jaws (prod. David Brown and Richard D. Zanuck)

PICTURE (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (prod. Mark Forstater and Michael White)

PICTURE (Foreign Language)
winner: Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle (The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser) (prod. Werner Herzog)

ACTOR (Drama)
winner: Jack Nicholson (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest)

ACTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

ACTRESS (Drama)
winner: Isabelle Adjani (L'histoire d'Adèle H. a.k.a The Story Of Adele H.)

ACTRESS (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Ann-Margret (Tommy)

DIRECTOR (Drama)
winner: Steven Spielberg (Jaws)

DIRECTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Robert Altman (Nashville)

SUPPORTING ACTOR
winner: Henry Gibson (Nashville)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
winner: Lily Tomlin (Nashville)

SCREENPLAY
winner: Lawrence Hauben and Bo Goldman, from the novel by Ken Kesey and the play by Dale Wasserman (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Katie-Bar-The-Door Awards (1974)

Chinatown, not One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, is the best performance of Jack Nicholson's career, and I almost gave him the award for best actor of 1974. But The Conversation is the best performance of Gene Hackman's career and that's who I'm going with. But fret not, Jack wins next year.

PICTURE (Drama)
winner: Chinatown (prod. Robert Evans)

PICTURE (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Young Frankenstein (prod. Michael Gruskoff)

PICTURE (Foreign Language)
winner: Angst essen Seele auf (Ali: Fear Eats The Soul) (prod. Rainer Werner Fassbinder)

ACTOR (Drama)
winner: Gene Hackman (The Conversation)

ACTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Gene Wilder (Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein)

ACTRESS (Drama)
winner: Gena Rowlands (A Woman Under The Influence)

ACTRESS (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Diahann Carroll (Claudine)

DIRECTOR (Drama)
winner: Roman Polanski (Chinatown)

DIRECTOR (Comedy/Musical)
winner: Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder (Young Frankenstein)

SUPPORTING ACTOR
winner: John Cazale (The Godfather Part II)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
winner: Madeline Kahn (Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein)

SCREENPLAY
winner: Robert Towne (Chinatown)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

"Dear Jane"

My contribution to the "Letter to the Stars" blogathon co-hosted by In The Mood, Frankly My Dear and Best of the Past. The rules are simple: "write a gushy fan letter to your favorite [Old Hollywood] star." I chose to write to Jane Greer, the star of the classic film noir thriller, Out of the Past. Nothing in the rules says she can't write back.

Dear Jane,
When I first saw you walking out of the sunlight into that sleepy little cafe, I could never have guessed that a humble sock monkey and an actress dead for eleven years could do so much more than take in an old movie together. I long for our next encounter.
xoxo
Mythical Monkey

My dearest Monkey,
I've known socks before—in fact I'm wearing two right now—but never did I know a sock could come stuffed with fluff—and with buttons for eyes! Sorry I let the dog chew on your ear—but then darning you afterwards was half the fun! A brand new ball of yarn awaits your return.
Smooches,
your Jane

Dearest Jane,
This last weekend was amazing. And no, I didn't mind you sewing a heart and your name on my biceps—your knitting needles pierce my soul. Also my head and much of my torso. Until next time.
Love and kisses,
your Monkey

My dear little fuzzy-wuzzy,
Except for the dinner party with the entomologist, last weekend was the best yet. Who would have guessed that moths and a wool monkey don't go together? Next week—just the two of us, I promise.
Snuggles,
Janey

Sweet, sweet Jane,
You're right, I probably should I have mentioned your gangster ex-boyfriend threatened to shoot me through the heart if I didn't tell him where to find you. But since technically-speaking I have no heart, I guess it slipped my mind. Meet on the beach again tonight?
Your loving
Monkey

My dearest Cuddlemonkey,
Thank you so much for not calling the police—those charges were trumped up, I swear. Can't wait to see you again and rip those little arms right off you all over again! I could just eat you up, my little woolly bully, or maybe wear you with a pair of sneakers. Rowr!
Naughtily yours,
Janey-waney

Dearest Janey,
Of course I don't mind about last weekend—how could you have known your parole officer would drop by unannounced? Actually, except for when he tried to wear me like a hat, I thought it went quite well. See you again Friday.
Love forever and always,
MM

My one true love,
You were so forgiving about the gunshot wound, I felt doubly bad about pulling the trigger four times. Okay, I admit I'm a bit of a homicidal maniac, but only before breakfast. Are afternoons good for you?
Love you bunches,
JG

Dear J
Again, I understand that you felt it necessary to murder my business partner and bury him in the backyard. Think nothing more of it. Oh, by the way, I had $40,000 in my bank account and now seem to have misplaced it. I didn't leave it at your house, did I? I can be so forgetful sometimes.
Forever yours,
MM

Dearest M,
Gosh, no, I have no idea why the FBI might have been looking for me—you just never know what Uncle Sam is going to get up to. LOL. By the way, I have to make a quick run for the border, but when I get back, we'll get reacquainted all over again—nice and slow.
Your loving
Jane
P.S. If anybody asks, you don't know where I am.

Dear Janey,
I don't know what that jury was thinking, but I'm sure you'll get the conviction overturned on appeal. Besides, what's twenty years between friends? And we are friends, aren't we. Remind me again about visiting hours?
Counting the minutes (days, years),
Your devoted
Monkey

Dear Monk,
This might be the last time you hear from me, at least for a long while. My escape is set for tonight. Thanks so much for the cake and file. I'll write as soon as I'm settled.
Love on the run,
Jane

Dear Jane,
I'm relieved to hear you washed up safely on that beach in South America. I just know you'll be happy now that you're out of the reach of U.S. extradition. Unfortunately, I can't join you there, as tempting as that thought sounds. Not only is the humidity bad for wool, but I've met a nice sweater to settle down with. But I will always remember you fondly.
Best wishes,
Mythical Monkey

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Katie-Bar-The-Door Awards (1973)

If it had been in French instead of in English, if they'd called it L'arnaque instead of The Sting, we'd be talking about the best movie of 1973 in the same breath with Rififi, Bob le Flambeur and Le Samourai instead of dismissing it as mere escapist entertainment, nice for the masses but not worthy of our serious attention ...

PICTURE (Drama)
winner: Badlands (prod. Terrence Malick)