The Metzinger Sisters over at Silver Scenes are hosting the Great Imaginary Film Blogathon this week, from October 1st to the 3rd. The rules are simple enough: imagine a movie you wish had been made and then blog about it.
Here's mine, a movie that not only has never been made, but I can practically guarantee you will never be made—Model Railroader Magazine: The Movie, directed and written by and starring the ultimate movie train guy, Buster Keaton:
If you're a regular reader of the Mythical Monkey, Keaton's connection to trains should require no explanation—The General, about a locomotive chase during the Civil War, is the greatest silent movie ever made. He loved trains, big and small. Here's a picture of him with his own model railroad:
"Music & Lyrics by Rod Stewart" probably does require an explanation. Maybe you didn't know this, but Stewart doesn't just sing for his supper—after the show, he sits quietly in his hotel room and builds museum-quality structures for his model train layout. He's twice been featured on the cover of Model Railroader, and deservedly so.
As for Keaton's co-stars, John Astin as Gomez Addams has blown up more trains than Lawrence of Arabia. He also teaches acting just up the road from here. Great man, funny man. I'd happily have him in any movie I was making.
The others on the list starred in some of the greatest train movies of all time—I'll leave it to you to match them to their movies—except possibly for Orson Welles (did he make a train movie?). He did once call RKO studios "the biggest electric train set a boy ever had!" so close enough. Here's Welles speaking in favor of train travel:
Boy, with a testimonial like that, no wonder everybody drives!
And how would a Buster Keaton movie about a man with a hobby play? About like this, I imagine:
As a bonus for fans of NCIS, that should answer how Gibbs gets the boat he's building out of his basement. As always, click on the photos to see them full size.
Named for Katie-Bar-The-Door, the Katies are "alternate Oscars"—who should have been nominated, who should have won—but really they're just an excuse to write a history of the movies from the Silent Era to the present day.
To see a list of nominees and winners by decade, as well as links to my essays about them, click the highlighted links:
Look at me—Joe College, with a touch of arthritis. Are my eyes really brown? Uh, no, they're green. Would we have the nerve to dive into the icy water and save a person from drowning? That's a key question. I, of course, can't swim, so I never have to face it. Say, haven't you anything better to do than to keep popping in here early every morning and asking a lot of fool questions?