Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Great Imaginary Film Blogathon

The Metzinger Sisters over at Silver Scenes are hosting the Great Imaginary Film Blogathon this week, from October 1st to the 3rd. The rules are simple enough: imagine a movie you wish had been made and then blog about it.

Here's mine, a movie that not only has never been made, but I can practically guarantee you will never be made—Model Railroader Magazine: The Movie, directed and written by and starring the ultimate movie train guy, Buster Keaton:

If you're a regular reader of the Mythical Monkey, Keaton's connection to trains should require no explanation—The General, about a locomotive chase during the Civil War, is the greatest silent movie ever made. He loved trains, big and small. Here's a picture of him with his own model railroad:

"Music & Lyrics by Rod Stewart" probably does require an explanation. Maybe you didn't know this, but Stewart doesn't just sing for his supper—after the show, he sits quietly in his hotel room and builds museum-quality structures for his model train layout. He's twice been featured on the cover of Model Railroader, and deservedly so.

As for Keaton's co-stars, John Astin as Gomez Addams has blown up more trains than Lawrence of Arabia. He also teaches acting just up the road from here. Great man, funny man. I'd happily have him in any movie I was making.

The others on the list starred in some of the greatest train movies of all time—I'll leave it to you to match them to their movies—except possibly for Orson Welles (did he make a train movie?). He did once call RKO studios "the biggest electric train set a boy ever had!" so close enough. Here's Welles speaking in favor of train travel:

Boy, with a testimonial like that, no wonder everybody drives!

And how would a Buster Keaton movie about a man with a hobby play? About like this, I imagine:

As a bonus for fans of NCIS, that should answer how Gibbs gets the boat he's building out of his basement. As always, click on the photos to see them full size.


Erik Beck said...

Since there's no way I'll have to time to write it up, I'll just throw in that I have a novel wherein a screenwriter is asked his next film and without batting an eye he replies "A technicolor musical adaptation of The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock."

The Metzinger Sisters said...

Oh my gosh, that's a fantastic idea! I could watch Gomez blowing up trains all day so his name alone would draw me to see this film. But that's interesting about Rod Stewart, I never knew he was a model-building-buff. Great job on the faux magazine cover!

Caftan Woman said...

The mind boggles. Buster and trains, it's such a natural. Why hasn't anyone thought of it before? Buster and John Astin is a dream team. Hooray!

Unknown said...

Great concept! I love the supporting cast. Richard Pryor and Orson Welles didn't make nearly enough movies together.

LĂȘ said...

Oh, Buster! With John Astin and my favorite director / actos Orson Welles, this film would be a must-see for me. Since I've already done a series in my blog about films with trains, I could match the other actors, except Julie Delpy.
Don't forget to read my contribution to the blogathon! :)

Page said...

I had a feeling you would choose Buster and so glad you did! : )

We all knew your were creative and your imagination has provided quite the film. How appropriate that it involved trains as well.

Fun and entertaining!

FlickChick said...

Perfect. I am sure Buster would have made it a labor of love had her the chance.