1993 Alternate Oscars

Steven Spielberg won the Oscar for directing Schindler's List in 1993. No great surprise — it's a terrific movie, one of the best of all time.

The shocker is that even though by that time he'd already directed Duel, Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, The Color Purple, Empire of the Sun and Jurassic Park (also in 1993), the Oscar for Schindler's List was Spielberg's first.

What did the Academy think he'd been doing for twenty years? Peeling potatoes?

Spielberg's Oscar reminds me of Christopher Nolan's for Oppenheimer — well deserved but also a bit condescending. Hollywood is loathe to give Oscars to talented directors who rake in boatloads of money making entertaining movies (see, e.g., Alfred Hitchcock, Howard Hawks, Quentin Tarantino and Greta Gerwig), at least not until they make one so serious and respectable, the voters just have to say, Ah, good boy, finally made something worthwhile!

Well, screw you, pal. As Randy Newman said when he finally won an Oscar after 16 nominations, "I don't need your pity!"

My choices are noted with a ★. A tie is indicated with a ✪. Historical Oscar winners are noted with a ✔. Best foreign-language picture winners are noted with an ƒ. A historical winner who won in a different category is noted with a ✱.